10 Things to Remember When Meeting New People

Military life has its challenges, but it also has its rewards. Frequent moves, imposed restrictions, deployments and postings can put a serious dent in your circle of friends and support system. The upside is that you can grow your circle with new connections at every new destination whether that is meeting your neighbours or attending military and mess functions.

Our Own Worst Enemy

Sometimes, however, we’re our own worst enemy. The internal dialogue being played over and over again about awkward moments, faux pas, and wondering what others will say or think of us keeps us boxed in anxiety.

Furthermore, making an effort to meet new people may not be high on the priority list after an exhausting move, but it should be. It can help you feel and get settled, keep you positive, and generate a new source of assistance for you when you need it most.

With so much of our lives on social media, it’s never been more important to have relationships IRL (in real life) because we’re in danger of losing our soft conversation skills in relation to face-to-face interactions.

10 Things to Remember

So, the following is my list of things to remember when you’re out there trying to make a positive and lasting impression on new people you meet:

1. Be kind to yourself. If the thought of meeting new people makes you anxious, remind yourself and take comfort in the fact that most people feel the same way.
2. Create a strategy. One of your goals should be to put others at ease. Your likeability quotient will increase exponentially because who doesn’t like someone who goes out of their way to make others feel comfortable?
3. Dress with confidence. Your clothes and appearance communicate long before you’ve even had a chance to say “hello.” If you’re wearing a uniform, you’re conveying camaraderie and trust, but what if you’re wearing civies? Make sure you’re comfortable and presentable. Clean, pressed, well-fitting clothing appropriate for the occasion is a must.
4. Smile. It makes you approachable.
5. Make eye contact. Too much, and you’ll make people uncomfortable. Too little, and you’ll appear disinterested. Maintain eye contact 40 to 60 per cent of the time, and the people you meet will feel listened to.
6. Focus on the other person. Avoid the urge to talk about yourself too much. If your goal is to put others at ease, steer the conversation in such a way that you get the other person talking about themself.
7. Prepare your small talk. It’s an icebreaker that sets the stage for new connections, so stay on top of current and local events and make a mental list of topics to draw on in conversation so you don’t bombard the other person with question after question.
8. Avoid interrupting. We sometimes get so enthusiastic about a topic that we start interjecting, cutting people off, or even talking over them. Practice listening instead and waiting for people to express their thoughts. They’ll feel listened to and will have a positive impression of you.
9. Introduce yourself with confidence. When you approach someone, take the initiative and extend your hand for a firm, but not bone-crushing, handshake.
10. Be punctual. Quite simply, it’s a sign of respect.

Relax & Breathe

The more you practice these things, the more second nature they’ll become. So, relax and breathe. You will do just fine. After all, we’re all in the same boat.