CMFMAG Team
When I was a kid, my dad used to tell me that what truly mattered in life wasn’t material things, but experiences. I didn’t believe him. In fact, I think I spent more time during my childhood trying to con more toys out of my parents than I did playing with them. The fact that my parents rarely gave in never swayed me in my quest to get more stuff. And did I ever!
A Dragon-Like Hoard
When I got a job and moved into my own place, the potential to amass a dragon-like hoard drew within reach. And that’s what happened. Sure, most of my paycheque went to the necessities, but every extra cent went to amass more stuff. None of it meaningful. None of it special, None of it worth a second glance. Still I needed more. Online shopping became a way to cope with the anxieties of adulthood and the added difficulty of having my beloved partner away, either constantly deployed, on exercise, or in the field. It took a while before I realized that I was turning into a television-worthy hoarder.
Piles of unwearable clothing as high as a toddler, boxes filled with old, obsolete video games, towers of books, and still-sticky crafting supplies became part of the decor. But it only hit me how bad I had gotten when I moved in with my husband, and I had to find a way to fit all my worldly possessions into a tiny PMQ. It wasn’t possible. Not just hard, but full stop impossible. I decided to become a minimalist, getting rid of every single possession of mine that didn’t have a direct practical application.
Journey to Minimalism
My great-aunt’s paintings? Chuck them. Bare PMQ walls are decoration enough. My favourite tea set? Garbage time. My extensive library? Ha! Let’s have a bonfire. And for a while, it worked. I did feel empowered, having less. It made cleaning easier. I wasn’t tripping on things. If I needed new supplies, I could walk to CANEX and pick stuff up. But just like the hoarding, it became a problem. I started throwing away my husband’s stuff.
At first, it was things that were garbage, like old shirts he never wore or random cables. Then it was video games he rarely played or tools that were taking up way too much space. And that, he noticed. It wasn’t a fun conversation. I realized that I had taken one issue and had turned it into another problem. So how do you balance that fine line between owning too much and not enough?
Putting Systems in Place
It’s a hard one. Some of us are experts, knowing that being a military family member means moving a lot and cutting down the excess. Not everyone can do that easily. You need to figure out what works for your lifestyle, and what you want your lifestyle to be. If you have kids, you’ll never have a clutter-free house, at least until they are older, but you can decide that for every new toy they get, they must donate one of their old ones.
The same can be said for the adult children in your life, even if that child is you. Get something, get rid of something. It works exceptionally well in your closet when some clothes just don’t fit right after the winter feasting. Still, you may need more direction to reorganize. Here is my trick. Pick a room. Take EVERYTHING that isn’t furniture and put it in a pile.
Go through the pile and choose what you love, what you need, and what can be thrown away. Put these in separate piles. What you need should be put away. What can be thrown away should be immediately chucked in either the recycling or donation bin and forgotten. But what about the stuff you love that isn’t necessary? You’ve got to make decisions. Either chuck or keep, but if you do keep it, make sure it has a place. Not just crammed into a forgotten drawer. Otherwise, it is pointless to keep, and you should not keep anything pointless.
Experiences above Stuff
Once you’ve done this to every room in your house, you are free to put your focus on what matters: time with your loved ones, doing things that make you happy. I’ve taken that advice in mind. Now, I spend what little extra that I make on experiences. A tasty night out at a restaurant, an adventurous road trip to some location chosen at random, a fabulously romantic staycation in a local hotel, trying out a new dessert with a friend, and things like that. These activities bring me far more joy than any delivery from Amazon ever could.
Millennial Meets Military, columnist Patricia Leboeuf, is not related to world famous actor Shia Labouf but often likes to tell people he’s her cousin. When not trying to trick her way into getting on the set of transformers, she can often be found writing articles as well as terrible novels that she shamefully hides away in her “For my eyes only” folder. Willing cat mommy, stealer of ferrets and reluctant guardian to a reptile, Patricia is a typical military partner for more than a decade, except in the ways that she is not.
