Megan EgertonIt isn’t easy to have a family member absent a lot. When they call, it is often easy to get into a conversation all about what isn’t working or annoying you the most (that can be a long list), and then before you know it, the phone call is over, and it hasn’t ended well.
They are frustrated as they are hundreds of miles away and can do nothing about it, and you are left feeling horrible about dumping on them when they are so far away.
More than likely, you won’t be able to chat about it the next day or share all the good things happening, as resentments toward the situation, the deployment, and each other are likely to grow.
Tips to Ending on a Positive Note
Many years ago, when my husband was in Bosnia, this happened to me, and I had to wait a couple of weeks before I could share the good things in our lives. I went over the kids crying all the time, being alone, pipes bursting, etc., and then he had to hang up.
My rule now is that for every negative comment I make, I have to say two positive things (I also practice this in all areas of my life) when we talk on the phone.
Plus, I now put a couple of funny photos by the phone, a ticket stub, some artwork or a test from one of our kids or some other thing that will trigger my memory about all of the good things that are happening while they are away.
Conversations are easier now, and we both hang up feeling better about the absence rather than a lot worse.
For more information about our tips, blogs, books and resources, visit here.
